Serious Adulting Stuff They Don’t Tell You When You Get Married and Have Kids

Female photographer photographing beautiful happy bride indoors.

Having someone to grow old with is a beautiful thing. Having kids can be an extremely rewarding way to live life. But take all the gushing with a grain of salt. It’s not as easy as commercials and advertisements make it out to be. Wedding and giving birth are just the starting point of the family life, even if these events get more attention than the daily grind that comes after. Here are some things that you will eventually have to deal with when you become a newlywed or parent to a newborn:

Chores and Division of Work

Who does the dishes and how? Little things that used to be automatic to you may not be the case with your life partner. Who does the cooking and gardening? Who takes care of the investments? These are important questions that are better figured out early on in the relationship. The upside is that you now have a tiny tag team with your child and your partner, and it’s up to you to make it work out together.

Bills, Bills, Bills

You may be faced with bill payment issues. Who shoulders what? One day, you may be checking mortgage rates in Salt Lake City or elsewhere, and the next, you need refinancing to consolidate all your personal loans. If you and your husband also have student loans to pay off, then that’s an extra thing you need to plan for. Ultimately, money-related decisions should always get the approval of both husband and wife and child, if your son or daughter is already of legal age.

Travel and Leisure Means Taking All Family Members into Consideration

You cannot just get out and leave without notice. Family trips take more work to plan than individual adventures. If you have a kid, you may need to check if the place of vacation is friendly for babies in general. You cannot just assume that the places you used to enjoy are the same as that of your partner.

Smiling newborn baby with Mohawk hair sleeping in white blanket

Lack of Sleep for New Babies

This is the notorious phase. With the exception of French parents who seem to be good at letting their babies sleep longer nights than the rest of the world, putting a baby to sleep is quite difficult. They tend to feed or wake more frequently when their stomachs are still small. You need to be in good health with your partner to make sure that you can handle the sleep debt that will slowly but surely accumulate.

Sometimes There’s Some In-law Considerations

You do not just marry one person. You also marry into their family. It affects the marriage if you cannot get along with your in-laws. Try your best to sort out this relationship and how much boundaries you need with your in-laws once you say, “I do,” to your partner.

Compromises or Meeting Halfway

Ultimately, all decisions you make will affect your spouse and child. It involves a lot of meeting halfway for sure.

Married life and parenting life can be rewarding if you are rooted in reality about the commitment you are making to these loved ones. Do all things with love, and the years will seem like days, and the sacrifices may seem trivial.

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